Work-life balance when it’s raining cats and dogs

Hanging in the balance

Work-life balance (WLB) is something that I’ve struggled with.
A lot.

A boss in my early 20s once told me, “There is no such thing as work-life balance. You should endeavour to enjoy your work so much that you make your work your life.” At the time, I found this pep-talk to be revelatory and (lucky for that boss) I proceeded to throw myself head-first into my work, making ‘loving the job’ my highest priority. It didn’t take me long to call BS on this. While the phrase, “Love your work and you’ll never work a day in your life” is idealistic, it’s also unrealistic. More likely, is “Love your work and you’ll work harder and longer for less money and let other important parts of your life slip away in the process.” So, whilst I applaud my previous boss for finding a crafty way for me to dedicate myself to my minimum wage hustle, I know now that for me, it’s truly important to at least attempt to strike this balance.

When ‘achieving’ the elusive state of WLB first became a target for me, I swiftly realised that this target was less of the archery kind, and more of the ‘pheasant flying through a storm in the middle of the night illuminated only by the occasional strike of lightning’ kind – ever-moving and seemingly impossible to hit. I panicked, and began to read up on WLB – how-to guides, academic papers, the lot. The experts seemed to agree with me (gulp) in that WLB was not a simple milestone that you shoot an arrow into and are then set for life. Rather, it’s “a lifelong process – a continuous, never-ending exercise that requires vigilance, self-awareness and timely tweaks”.

Raining cats and dogs

There are lots of techniques you can use for WLB self-assessment (including five helpful questions for assessing whether your current balance is serving you), but there is one technique that has served me best in navigating this balance. I received the technique from Michael Grinder, brother of the late John Grinder, who was the co-founder of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). The technique? To consider whether I am a cat or a dog in the terms of NLP. Bear with me – despite the cutesy animal analogy, this one really helped.

Cats are leaders. They love the stage, are fiercely independent, proactive and aspirational – they’re the ones in charge. Dogs, on the other hand, are followers. They’re approachable, friendly, and shy away from both power and conflict.

Of course, each person always has both cat and dog capabilities, and neither is better than the other (no matter what some cats may tell you). Really we should all be aiming to be a perfect balance of the two (CATDOG was onto something), and to be able to shift our behaviour according to the situation. Naturally, however, we will each have a preference. 

The trick is to try to identify whether you are a cat or dog in your work and home lives and, ideally, to find a way to balance this out – it’s great if you can be one at home and one at work. For example, if you like to take the lead at work, practice letting go of the wheel and taking a back seat at home. Or if you’re a happy-go-lucky pup in the office, see if you can step into your cat power at home. I reached burnout pretty quickly when I was trying to be a cat in both my work and home lives. It can be tricky, but learning when to switch off and nurture the other side means that you’re not in that one state all the time, helping you to feel both rested and fulfilled – two key tenets of WLB.

Not sure where you stand?

Take the quick quiz below from People Alchemy to better understand which four legged friend you are at home and at work:

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In short, whilst WLB is constantly shifting (perhaps even moreso now as we work in more flexible environments), our attitude towards it should remain the same – approach each situation as it comes. Balance is an ever-shifting seesaw. Go easy on yourself.

And if worst comes to worst, here is a great article on how to cosplay as a Dalmation.

Why not give it a shot?!